Dear God, If You Please (1992)
Matthew L. Watley
Dear God, if you please, let me be paranoid.
I know this sounds like the strangest request.
But it's the only thing can fill this void.
And until it is fulfilled, I'll find no rest.
It seems today that the world is against me,
The only reason being that my skin is black.
I try to convince myself this just isn't true,
Yet all of the evidence shows it as fact.
I see poor education and unequal chances.
I see people mistreated---their skin like mine.
I am told these things don't really exist,
But I just don't think they're all in my mind.
Why then would I still not believe?
Because I'd lose all my hope, I'd lose all faith.
If I accepted my suspicions simply as truth,
Then wouldn't this world be an evil place?
So, God, you must see the need for me to be paranoid,
Then this world really wouldn't be so bad.
Then all that I see is not a true picture.
Lord, let me be paranoid so I know I'm not mad.
Conversations with God: Two Centuries of Prayers by African Americans by James M. Washington, 1994, HarperCollins.
